A Broken Mind
by Lilgrimmapple
Summary: A human is meant to die only once. Ukyo is only human. No wonder his mind broke so easily.


Note: I do not own any characters from Amnesia as much as I wuv Ukyo. ;^;

Summary: A human is meant to die only once. Ukyo is only human. No wonder his mind broke so easily.

**A Broken Mind**

It was August 1st. Again.

Ukyo sat on his bed, his head in his hands. His hands were clutching his green hair as if to tear the strands out. Ukyo's eyes were sealed shut tightly and almost painfully. His body was shaking furiously from terror. He had just died five minutes ago. He could remember the sound of something approaching him fast, and the blinding headlights from a truck. And the pain, oh God, the pain. He did not die instantly. Because of that, he could feel his bones shattering and tearing against his flesh as he was thrown meters away from where he was standing. He never knew that such agony was possible. He had laid there on the street for an hour before he had died, drowning in his own blood.

A sob escaped from the man. Yet he was alive again and in a different parallel universe. This was the cause of his despairing wish he made long ago. He made this wish because she had died. Ukyo couldn't bear losing her. He didn't care if he was selling his soul in payment; he just wanted her to be alive, safe and happy. But this price was beginning to seem more than intolerable. Fate hated being meddled with, and it did not hesitate in letting Ukyo know that. Instead of letting her live and be happy, she kept dying, not living past the original point of her death. Each time, Ukyo traveled to different universes, trying to find a world where she was still alive. This time, Ukyo did manage to keep her alive past August 25th.

Yet the world seemed to be built upon equivalent exchange. If she lives…then he dies in her place. And every time he dies, he wakes up in another world, back again on August 1st, repeating the same cycle in trying to save the life of the woman he loves. The woman who never remembered him anymore.

He had lost count on the number of times he had died for her. Each death more terrible than the next.

It was a cycle he did not know how to break. Yet he couldn't stop protecting her.

"It's her fault."

Ukyo flinched and looked up. He couldn't see anyone to whom the voice belonged to.

"It's all her fault!" The voice became angrier, and to his horror, it was him who had spoken. "Why must that bitch live just so I have to die in her place!?"

Ukyo cried out and smacked back against the wall. What was happening to him? This wasn't him! He would never insult her like that! "No…I chose this fate." He tried to convince the furious voice inside him. "It's my fault for not being there to save her in the first place."

Deep inside him, his words struck a strange nerve and he found himself throwing his head back in hysterical laughter. "Her undoing is her fault and hers alone." He chuckled, shadows deepening below his maddening eyes. A menacing grin spread widely across his features. "I for one do not wish to die. If one of us has to die, then let it be her. In fact, why don't I speed up the process for her? After all the pain she had caused me, she deserves to die by my own hand!"

Ukyo slammed his head against the wall. Blood trickled down his brow. The evil feeling faded away from the pain. Managing to calm down in a few hours and certain that he had himself under control, Ukyo decided to leave the house. He wandered around the streets with no destination in mind. The sky was dark and he found himself in a park. Sighing, Ukyo sat himself down on a swing and rocked himself slowly. The wind picked up and a hat flew smack into his boots. He leaned down to pick up the hat and inspected it.

His heart squeezed painfully. It was _her_ hat. How many times have they crossed paths due to her hat falling off? He heard footsteps running up to him and her breathing hard. Ukyo smiled sadly at her and reached his arm to hand her hat back to her. "We meet again." He said gently.

She looked at him confused. Of course she was. He didn't care if didn't play along with not knowing her. He was tired of it.

"It's ok if you don't remember me. I don't expect you to." Ukyo took in her beauty in one gaze. Oh, how he loved her.

"Thank you." She takes back her hat and looks at him one last time, nervously before turning her back and walking away. Only to be stopped by two hands grasping her from behind, earning a frightened cry from the girl.

"No. Thank _you_." Ukyo whispers into her ear, sinking back into his madness. He slams her roughly into a tree with great ease. "You saved me the trouble finding you. How kind of you, my dear." He grins and chuckles, his voice raising a few octaves in his moment of hysteria. "You don't know how much shit you put me through!"

She was confused and tries to get away, but Ukyo keeps her still. "I'm sick and tired of being selfless. Can you comprehend how many fucking times I had _died _for you?!" He yells in her face, his own twisting in fury. "Do you KNOW how it feels to have every bone in your body break? How it feels not being able to breath?! Can you imagine your body ripping apart, my sweet?"

She whimpers and tears start to well up, and he relishes that moment.

"No, you couldn't possibly know." He giggles and leans his forehead against hers for a moment. "You don't remember what it's like to have your soul part from your cold, miserable corpse." He leans down even closer, his lips brushing against hers. "Shall I remind you?" He purrs and gently places both hands on each side of her face.

"P-please….st-"

Ukyo doesn't give her the chance to finish as he snaps her neck in an instant. He lets her fall limply to the ground, his eyes cold and insane. He giggles and then goes into full out laughter. A moment later, he gasps and the madness leaves him. The comprehension of what he just did sinks in and he begins to shake.

He killed her.

Tears well up in his eyes and he shakes his head, not willing to accept this truth.

He killed her.

"No…" He whimpers and falls to his knees beside her. "I'm sorry! No! NO!" He begins to beat the ground with his fists, damaging them horribly. "What's….happened to me?" He chokes on his tears and puts a bloody hand over his eyes. "What have…I done? I'm …supposed to protect you! _This isn't how it's supposed to be!_"

Ukyo stands up abruptly, his eyes shut. Trying his best not scream, he bites his tongue. He had no choice. He'd have to travel into another world and try to save her once more. Too bad his other half had other plans.


End file.
